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Splitting the Cost of the Engagement Ring: What Do You Think?

October 11, 2013 3 min read

To read the entire story and watch the full video from Huffington Post’s Caitlyn Becker, click the screenshot above.

The other night while I was relaxing at home, I opened up my HuffPost app on my iPhone and began scrolling through the front page stories.  I came across an article with a video about whether couples should split the cost of the engagement ring.  The article, entitled ‘Should Couples Split the Cost of the Engagement Ring’ and the video entitled ‘Going Dutch on Diamonds’ got me thinking about our customers at deBebians.com and what I see on a daily basis.

I have been in the jewelry business for over 13 years and tradition has changed a bit from what I can see.  It truly does run the gamut from men wanting to do the entire process solo, to even women buying their own engagement ring!  On one side of the spectrum, I encounter men who want to go through the process of buying the engagement ring totally on their own.  This includes searching for and selecting the center diamond, the engagement ring and paying for the ring in full by themselves.  However, I also encounter women who search for their own diamond and engagement ring and then pass the information on to their significant others.  I have also worked with couples who want to both be involved in the entire engagement ring buying process from start to finish and they want to split the price of the engagement ring.  Some men even have the women take over the entire process of buying their own engagement ring.  It is really a wide spectrum of what I see, but more and more, both partners are involved in the buying process to some degree and some even in the payment for the engagement ring.

Is the tradition of men selecting and buying the engagement ring over?  I would say that yes, more and more this tradition is coming to an end in some way.  Sad as it is, many women do want to be involved in the engagement ring process in one way or another.  I asked this question of a few women who work here at deBebians.com.  It sparked quite a debate in the office and many had differing opinions.  Jaclyn, our social media expert, stated that she wants to be completely in the dark so she is totally surprised when a proposal occurs.  She wants nothing to do with the process of selecting and/or buying her engagement ring.  However, Jaclyn loves the tradition of the woman picking out and buying the men’s wedding band.  Elaine, a lead member of our web development team, said she wouldn’t want to contribute at all financially to the purchasing of her engagement ring but that she would want to participate in picking it out.  She loves the tradition of a man buying the engagement ring for his soon to be bride.  Olivia, one of our staff GIA gemologists, stated that she wouldn’t mind kicking in for some of the cost of the ring if it meant getting the ring of her dreams.  She also stated that today, more and more households are dual income with both men and women contributing to daily expenses so why should this be any different.  Elizabeth, a member of the deBebians web content department, said she values the tradition of a man buying an engagement ring for the woman but she understands there are many choices and styles that may confuse the potential shopper.  Because of this, she would rather shop for the engagement ring style or design together but not necessarily contribute financially.

Even in our office, there are such differing opinions.  Tell us what you think!


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